Well some people may have heard about this, but I want to make sure people aren't thinking the wrong things: I love you maya. Short and sweet, just like you. I look foward to a day when we might once again be together. In the mean time I am glad we can be friends. Thank you.
So ends the most intensive week of my life. Highest highs, the lowest lows. Sometimes boths at the same time. Bittersweat. Life is never fair. Life played a cruel trick on me. Life showed me who I love more than anything else if the world, the person I would do anything for, the person who life I value above mine. But it happened at probably as wrong a time as possible. This is what I mean by the highest highs, and the lowest lows. I must have done something really bad in a previous life or something. It is amazing how a two month difference in timing if the different between heavenly bliss and deep depressing feelings. Life *bittersweet chuckle*. I thank life for showing me what it is like to truly 100% love someone. I hate life for doing it when it did. This has been really hard on me and I know it has been hard for the person I love. There are times when I don't know how long I can't stand this. There are times when I would wait forever. So I guess what it really eatting me is this large disparity in feelings inside me. It is like putting matter and anti-matter together. This causes the matter to self annihilate. I feel like there are two halfs of me, tottally opposite in feelings. It is scary, I am scary of what is going to happen because I don't know what is going to happen. Who knows, tommorrow this could be all over or it could last a life time. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to feel. So I guess I say to you all, I am sorry that life has played this cruel trick on me. I don't know how I am going to react at time going on. I will have unpredictable behavior. I will try to be strong, though I need friends to help me. I can't do this alone. All I can promise everyone is that I will do my best to keep my sanity. There are many different outcomes to this, all of which are possible. The two general outcomes that I will pursue are ones to which I can be true to my feeling. Yes I will pursue being with the person I love. But I will also pursue making her happy in any way possible. They only thing I can do it try and aim for ones I think are the best. So ends the most life changing week every. I am not sorry I love you, I am just sorry I didn't fully realize it until now. I once again want to apolgise to zach. I know how I would feel in your shoes.
Well there is much more that can be said but I think I will leave it at this. I love you maya and I love being your friend. If we never get back together I still want to be your friend. You still give me butterflys.
James
So ends the most intensive week of my life. Highest highs, the lowest lows. Sometimes boths at the same time. Bittersweat. Life is never fair. Life played a cruel trick on me. Life showed me who I love more than anything else if the world, the person I would do anything for, the person who life I value above mine. But it happened at probably as wrong a time as possible. This is what I mean by the highest highs, and the lowest lows. I must have done something really bad in a previous life or something. It is amazing how a two month difference in timing if the different between heavenly bliss and deep depressing feelings. Life *bittersweet chuckle*. I thank life for showing me what it is like to truly 100% love someone. I hate life for doing it when it did. This has been really hard on me and I know it has been hard for the person I love. There are times when I don't know how long I can't stand this. There are times when I would wait forever. So I guess what it really eatting me is this large disparity in feelings inside me. It is like putting matter and anti-matter together. This causes the matter to self annihilate. I feel like there are two halfs of me, tottally opposite in feelings. It is scary, I am scary of what is going to happen because I don't know what is going to happen. Who knows, tommorrow this could be all over or it could last a life time. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to feel. So I guess I say to you all, I am sorry that life has played this cruel trick on me. I don't know how I am going to react at time going on. I will have unpredictable behavior. I will try to be strong, though I need friends to help me. I can't do this alone. All I can promise everyone is that I will do my best to keep my sanity. There are many different outcomes to this, all of which are possible. The two general outcomes that I will pursue are ones to which I can be true to my feeling. Yes I will pursue being with the person I love. But I will also pursue making her happy in any way possible. They only thing I can do it try and aim for ones I think are the best. So ends the most life changing week every. I am not sorry I love you, I am just sorry I didn't fully realize it until now. I once again want to apolgise to zach. I know how I would feel in your shoes.
Well there is much more that can be said but I think I will leave it at this. I love you maya and I love being your friend. If we never get back together I still want to be your friend. You still give me butterflys.
James
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home